fragile...

fragile (fraj'el) adj. easily broken or damaged; delicate.

the little house...

i was over here this morning and this post brought forth a rush of memories.  her story of her little house is so similar to mine i felt compelled to write about it.  our first house was meant to be a "5 year" house as well.  we were married just a year and had no children when we purchased our little "fixer upper".  and believe me, it was a "fixer upper"!  but it was ours - all 800 square feet of it.  well, by the time 5 years rolled around, the year we had planned to sell the house, we had three kids in diapers and were thinking about a fourth.  i was home with the kids and my husband was working full time and attending college at night.  the little house had shrunk, but we had no money to buy a larger house.  so we stuck it out.  and a lot of people said we couldn't do it.  impossible they said.  how could we all live in that little tiny space?  and thinking about adding another child.  we must be crazy.

at first we believed them.  it really did feel too small.  and impossible.  and that made us very unhappy.  but the crazy part was true and one day, we made a decision.  and it was a real turning point in our lives.  we decided to do it anyway.  we would do it our way and not listen to anyone else.  and we had our fourth child and we lived in that house for eight more years.  and we were happy.

every spare moment i had was spent transforming that plain little house into a sweet little cottage brimming with shabby chic goodness inside and out.  i became a master at organization.  a place for everything.  all four kids "stacked up" in one tiny bedroom.  each and every possession was well thought out.

looking back, i think the best part of that house was its' smallness.  we made up for it by spilling outside.  we spent many many hours outdoors and we got to know all of our neighbors.  it was an older neighborhood and most of them were retired.  it was like living among many grandparents.  they loved our kids and enriched our lives.  they often reminded us to enjoy that time of our lives, that it passes by so quickly.  and i've found that to be so true.  and i'm thankful for that little house.  it allowed me to stay home with my kids when they were small and savor each and every moment.

and when the time was right, we moved.  to our "big" house.  but not too big.  just big enough.  although, i don't often miss our old house, i do miss that time of our lives.  so many stories in that house.  good times.  bad times.  funny times.  sad times.  all of it.  that little house taught me things.

i learned to live simply.
i learned to find joy in small everyday moments.
i learned patience.  good things come in their own time.
i learned how important it is to live my own truth and not someone else's.  because, deep down, only i know what is right for me and if i stick to that, everything will be ok.
and most importantly,
i learned how to create the space i need in my very own soul, so no matter where i go, i will be at peace.

a little sack of comfort...

the day is so very dark and rainy.  but also quite beautiful.  the way the rain collects on my window.  the deep gray of the sky.  the storm outside and the quiet inside...

the power has been flickering on and off all day.  and finally, i just turned everything off and set myself up near the window.  i'm putting together a little amulet pouch.  i got this idea from the book Nomad by Sibella Court.  i love this book and also her other book Etcetera.  every time i read through them, i see something i hadn't noticed before.  so the pouch...  the author wrote about how she wore a couple of these little leather pouches whenever she traveled.  she stitches various items inside to help her feel safe when she is away from home.  i thought a long time about what i should put in mine.  i've been thinking about it for weeks actually.

and this is what went in...a little guatamalan worry doll - to collect my worries; a bit of lace and a pearl because those things are such a part of me; two pieces of silk, the color of the sun and the sky; a little scroll with a secret note to myself; a teeny, tiny yellow star, for wishing;  some pretty colored stones, each with their own meaning; a piece of sea glass and a seashell, because i love the sea; a single word clipped from a book - "truth", to remind me to live my truth always; and finally, a small gray feather, for my love of birds and all things nature.

i liked the rough look of hers, so i kept to that style.  when i was all done, it looked like a lumpy little bundle of stitched leather.  a bit uneven.  rustic.  like me.

to finish, i strung it on some leather cord very simply and added a small silver bead and a very beautiful antique button that i've been saving for something special.
so here it is.  it's gotten quite dark and it was hard to get a good picture.  but i think it is really quite lovely and i am wearing it as i type this.  i think it feels like wearing a little sack of comfort.  
so tell me, what would you put in your amulet?

in case your luck runs out...

...don't worry, i've got a whole box of it in my closet.  this literally fell on my head today when i was looking for something.  a sign of some sort?  my daughter finds these four leaf clovers for me and i keep them in this old cigar box.  for just in case.

i'm feeling pretty lucky today.  my friend, Ellen, interviewed me for this feature on Poets United.  i met Ellen through my blog and have gotten to know her pretty well.  we have so much in common and it's always nice to know someone whose soul is on the same path as yours.  she calls me a "visual poet" and i love that phrase.  it really sums up what i do.

so, i've had a few more visitors than usual today and i wanted to say thank you to everyone who stopped by my blog or my shop to see what i'm all about.  i lead a small quiet life and your visits and comments mean so much to me :)

embracing some quiet...

i've been quiet, i know.  i've been busy creating.  collages...i have a few in progress.  this one is just for me.  my studio wall is looking a bit bare.  i think it really looks more like a big journal page.  maybe some more paint and a nice bit of poetry...

i've been very motivated this week and i actually made four new leather journals.  

i've been pasting like crazy in my journal.  no words.  just bits of  found paper and things i've dug out of my recycling bin.  and images i like, in black and white, because my printer is broken, but i kind of like how that looks.

i spent a few hours today in the backyard, getting pictures of my new creations, so that i can list them in my shop soon.  i recently put out a hummingbird feeder and as i took my pictures under the big oak tree, i could see them buzzing back and forth.  they are fascinating little creatures.  my husband also hung my regular bird feeder for me, in a special "squirrel proof" way and now i have so many sweet little birds visiting.  those little things bring me great joy.

i've been doing a little shopping on etsy, purchasing things that i need to create and a few little things that just caught my eye.  perhaps i'll show you my purchases next week, as they begin to arrive.  this pretty stamp came on an envelope with an order of waxed linen thread.

i've been doing lots of deep thinking.  the kind you can only do when it is quiet.  i am experiencing big changes in my life right now and i'm trying to make peace with all of that.  nothing earth shattering, just the progression of life.  but i'm a slow adjuster.  perhaps i'll write about it sometime...

mostly, i've just been trying to treat myself well, by doing the things that i most love to do and making no apologies for it.  because you have to do that sometimes.