sticky floors and starry sky mornings...

this morning when i woke up it was still dark out.  really dark.  i took our senile old dog outside and while i waited for him to remember why were out there (that's been happening a lot lately) i looked up and noticed the stars.  the sky was a moody blue-black and there were so many stars up there.  it really was beautiful.  i've really been noticing things like that lately.  i'm sure it was always there, but i'm just really seeing it now. and that's the nice part of my story.

next i headed to the kitchen to brew up some coffee.  it's Starbucks Italian roast this week.  in case you were wondering.  as i shuffled to the coffee maker, my feet got stuck to the floor.  at first i thought i might be dreaming, but as i continued on my way, i realized that i really was fully awake and i really was sticking to the floor.  my teens are home from school this week on some kind of fall break and let me just say that it's been a new and interesting experience.  just about the time i'm heading off to bed at night, they are coming into their "fully wide awake" time.  this involves clanging pans and cupboards and smells coming from the kitchen.  then some laughter, tv noises and maybe some music.  and sometimes, random noises that jolt me out of my sleep and make me listen for robbers.  and then, sometime around 2 or 3 am, some door slamming (can't they ever just close it lightly) and probably some water running.  then usually it is blessedly quiet until 11am or later.  so when they finally got out of bed close to lunchtime (well...my lunchtime), i went about investigating the sticky floor.  i knew some kool-aid had made it's way into the house at some point this week, so that was my first thought.  "ok guys", i asked them, "who spilled the kool-aid?"  they all gave me blank stares and then denied it.  "i'm not mad", i said, "i just want whoever did it to clean it up." "nope, not us", they all said.  "ok, well, who's going to clean it up?", i asked them.  my younger son grabbed the mop and got to work.  how nice, i thought to myself, he's so responsible.  then he said, "boy, that jar of jelly i dropped last night sure did make the floor sticky."  um...hello!?!?!?..

i think i am going to miss this someday.  at least that's what i've been told.  while trying to unstick myself from the floor this morning, i was feeling kind of skeptical, but now, reading this over, i know that i will.  i know for sure i will miss the music.  always music at our house.  good background music, just like in a movie.  and the laughter...for sure i'll miss that.  even now, the house creaks with sadness when they are all out doing their thing.  and the sticky floors?  yeah, i'll probably think fondly back on that someday too.

it's a big year.  my oldest will graduate from college.  the twins are graduating from high school.  and my little baby, who is now taller than me and can sing Johnny Cash tunes with ease, well, he's busy with all of his high school activities.  weeks like this make me contemplate all of the upcoming changes.  and i guess it's natural to look forward some and wonder how it's all going to turn out.  i just thought i would put it out there into the wide world.  maybe you can relate?  and for now, i'm just going to take those starry sky mornings and those sticky floor days and try to enjoy them to the fullest...

...

my feelings are too loud for words and too shy for the world

-dejan stojanovic

we all have days like this...

talisman...

talisman - n. 1. an object that is thought to have magic powers and to bring good luck.  2. something producing apparently magical or miraculous effects.

i don't know if it's really magical.  maybe it just works for me because i believe it to be so.  this is just one of a few lucky charms that i wear.  how about you...do you believe in magic?  

and yes, we have sun again.  yea!

raindrops...

it's raining again.  oh, no, it's raining again...  isn't that a song?  it has been coming down in drops and drizzles.  a plip-plop, a pitter-patter and then a pour.  a splash and a sprinkle.  but i wouldn't say a deluge or a torrent or a flood.  the kids had a "rain day" today, which just means that school was cancelled.  for rain?  i'm not going to say much about that in case i jinx myself and wind up needing an ark.  but really.  it's just rain.  they are thrilled of course...an unexpected day off.  a chance to catch up on much needed rest.  i don't blame them for being happy and i got to sleep a little longer too.   

the bulb in my overhead light went out and my shopping day is tomorrow.  i'm not the type of person to run out to buy one thing.  especially in the rain.  so i'm sitting close to the window, trying to catch some light for some very tiny stitching.  with golden thread.  on leather.  again.  ouch.

  i have such ideas floating about my head right now.  i'm feeling deeply inspired.  i'm not exactly sure why.  maybe cause it's fall.  and i do love the fall...cooler days and pretty leaves and smoky smells in the air.  or maybe it's all this rain.  regardless, i'm really happy about it.  

i have a nice stack of books to keep me going for the weekend in case my fingers need a rest from stitching.  this one about pie is a good read.  and rainy days do lend themselves to pie making.  and pie eating.  don't you think?

the weight of woe...

it has been raining here for days and the forecast calls for rain all week long.  you know i like the rain don't you?  grey sky days like this call for slow and thoughtful projects.  deep soul projects.  my fingers ache, but in a satisfying way.  i don't usually use blue in my work, almost never, but this piece needed blue.  a really moody sort of blue.  

  

the words came first actually...sometimes it happens like that.  i cut them from an old book and set them on my table.  my eyes landed on them over and over again and the phrase got stuck in my head for a few days...the weight of woe.  i actually dreamt about it and when i awoke i gathered some humble supplies and began to stitch.  it is a work in progress.  i'm still not sure how it will end up.  but that is the best way usually.

the light in my little studio is dim and grey.  my little dog is sleeping, just inches away, on a soft blanket that i drag around the house wherever i go.  he wants to be near me all the time now, but his old bones need a cushion.  the rain is slow today... a drizzle really.  and the needle dips in and out.  in and out.  in and out...

calm...

i took a walk alone.  in a forest of tall, tall trees.  so tall, all of the leaves were at the top, so all i could see were the trunks, one after another.  there was a light breeze and when it came through, the trees lightly swayed making a soft whispering sound.  and the world was so beautiful just then.  as i was walking i spied an opening in the trees.  i climbed down a steep slope all slippy-slidey like, using the tree roots like stairs and branches as my railing.  the flip-flops on my feet were not helping much, but i made it to the bottom still standing and this was my reward.    

  

the water was the palest blue...the prettiest blue i've ever seen.  the sun made the ripples sparkle...it was magical.  as i snapped the picture, i thought to myself, "this is what calm looks like."    

when i got home, i sent it off into cyberspace to have it enlarged and printed and mailed back to me...that's still kind of amazing to me how that all works.  and yesterday, when i slipped it out of the tube, i got that feeling all over again.  a calm...deep in my bones.  i'm going to hang it today.  someplace where i'll see it every day.  cause life is not always easy.  and sometimes you have to make your own calm.  

"Always be like a water.  Float in the times of pain or dance like waves along the wind which touches its surface."

-Santosh Kalwar

this is the day...

this is the day that decides by itself to be beautiful.

-henry shukman-

i found this leaf this morning on my daily "meander" with dexter.  he stopped to sniff a fresh patch of grass and there it was at my feet.  i knew then it would be a beautiful day.  or did it turn out to be beautiful because i decided right then that it would be?  such a deep question right?  i believe each day is what we make it.  and some days...well...they do seem to decide all by themselves...