finding the magic within...

i left the kids home last night while i went to pick up my husband from work.  a short while later, i got a phone call from home.  my youngest.  in tears.  i actually wasn't too surprised.  it happens sometimes when you leave an 11 year old home with three teenagers.

  i asked him what was wrong and he proceeded to tell me between sobs.  "they said". sob.  "santa". sob.  "isn't real".  and my heart nearly broke in two.

i had to think fast.  he was genuinely upset and i needed to say the right words just then.  and this is what i said.  "just because your brother and sisters don't believe, that doesn't mean he is not real.  now that you're older, i think you can understand this.  santa may not be that guy they portray in all the stories.  no one really knows.  i believe santa  is a mystical being.  santa is a kind of magic.   santa is the kind of magic that comes from within yourself.  it comes from believing in good things.  if we didn't believe in good things, our lives would lack meaning and that would be so sad.  we all need magic in our lives and i'm sad your siblings have lost it.  but that doesn't mean that you can't still believe.  to them right now, christmas is just what kind of present they are getting.  but to those who believe, christmas is so much more". 

after i spoke with the teens, i realize that they didn't mean to to crush his spirit.  they were having a conversation and it just sort of came out that they no longer believed.  but i'm sad that they have lost the kind of innocence that makes them believe in magic.
thinking about it later, i wondered if maybe i had lost a bit of the magic myself.
lately, i've felt so weighed down by all of the preparation.  it's been a struggle to keep a positive point of view and to focus on the things that are truly important.  for me, there is the religious significance of christmas.  but i do enjoy some of the other aspects.  i like decorating and i like baking.  but my favorite part is the coming together of our family at christmas.  we live far from family and it is a gift to be able to travel and see everybody.

  i'm sure a lot of us have lost the magic at some point or another.  but it's never too late to get it back.  you just need to believe.  in something that is bigger than ourselves.  whatever that is for you.

i hope you find the magic this holiday season.