my mom saw my last post and called me...she said that post sounded depressed and she was worried about me. which is nice, cause i know she cares. i think most moms do still worry about their kids, even when they are all grown up. at this point in my life i have realized that the worry part is never going to go away.
and i'm fine. i'm just plugging away here, one day at a time. i managed to finish a few of the unfinished projects in the stack that i lamented about in my last post. and that made me happy. and the taxes are done and the fafsas are filled out. and the laundry...well...there will always be laundry. i think i have finally disinfected all of the sickness out of our house. my baby (my 13 year old baby that is) broke his leg two weeks ago and finally he seems to be adjusting. he went on a band field trip today. and yes, i am worried about him.
which brings me to the title of this post. perfectly imperfect. all morning that phrase was caught in my head...perfectly imperfect. when i think about it, that is really how i live and create. i do not believe that everything has to be perfect all the time. or ever. goodness, if that was the case, all of my furniture would have to be replaced! and i really do love most of my mismatched, chippy furniture...each piece has its own story. and most of my art is created from something imperfect, like the above collages. if you look at things a certain way, imperfection can be so beautiful. so...i'm not sad because life is not going perfectly. i'm happy at the perfect imperfectness of it all.
art-making has been a challenge lately. and since it is my favorite thing to do, i'm feeling kind of sad. there have been taxes and fafsas and budgets, injuries and illnesses and laundry. driving to appointments. and more injuries and illnesses and laundry. and all i have to show for it is a large pile of half-finished projects. i haven't taken the time to blog because it all seems rather blah. and i just couldn't find any words to write. perhaps all it really is, is a case of the winter doldrums.
this morning i woke up very, very early (or rather was woken up) and once i got the needy persons settled back into their beds, i was not feeling very sleepy anymore. so i brewed up a pot of strong tea and settled into my spot by the window. as i listened to the creaks and cracks of the sleeping house, i gave myself permission to relax and stop worrying. i peered out the window...so snowy and still out there in our little forest. i read for a bit. i searched for something that would give me a sense of peace for the day. and this is what i came up with...
“Live today. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Just
today. Inhabit your moments. Don’t rent them out to tomorrow. Do you know what
you’re doing when you spend a moment wondering how things are going to turn out
You’re cheating yourself out of today. Today is
calling to you, trying to get your attention, but you’re stuck on tomorrow, and
today trickles away like water down a drain. You wake up the next morning and
that today you wasted is gone forever. It’s now yesterday. Some of those
moments may have had wonderful things in store for you , but now you’ll never
know.” ― Jerry Spinelli, Love, Stargirl
yes, that's a good one. inhabit each moment of today. one at a time. then move on. i think i've got this...