so, this is kind of random but...i was making a little wedding bell for a customer and that made me think of a conversation that i had with my husband recently. as you know, a couple of posts back, we celebrated our 22nd anniversary. a beautiful spring wedding it was. the weather was really lovely that day, sunny and warm, which was like a gift from mother nature because the day before and the day after it snowed. central new york weather is often unpredictable.
but really, i had always wanted a fall wedding. i pictured a warm sunny day, not unlike our spring wedding, only with that beautiful fall foliage in the background. new york state in the fall is so beautiful. but at the time, fall did not work out for us. so april it was. it's no big deal. we're married.
which brings me to our conversation. i know. finally right? we got to talking about how we might like to renew our wedding vows someday. maybe for our 25th. sounds like a romantic thing to do. and as we mulled over the details a bit, just for fun, because we have a few years to go after all, my husband suggested a fall wedding. then we'll have two anniversaries he said. to which my son replied, "you can't do that. you can't just change the date of your wedding." which immediately made me my brain swirl a bit. yeah. my fall wedding. two anniversaries. aaannnnnd the best part...someone says i can't do that. a challenge. i thrive on challenge. it's so me.
on a recent trip to an antique shop with my son, i found this pretty postcard. it was in a huge bucket full of hundreds of postcards. I sifted through for awhile and this one caught my eye. i fell in love with the faded red velvet rose.
i flipped it over quickly to see if it had writing. yup. i love old handwriting. so beautiful and a work of art in itself. i didn't really read it until i got home and then i was pleasantly surprised. it's a love note! to Miss Emma Fry from "hope you know who". very mysterious. apparently he "caught a shine" of Miss Emma at the Mohlers love feast, but did not get a chance to speak with her, so he is inviting her to the love feast at Ephrate and would like to see her home. it is signed, "from one that would like to be your friend, i hope you know from who. o.o.d."
i have a cigar box full of lucky finds like this. i usually just look for nice writing, but i don't always take the time to read it in the store. i buy these things with the intention of using them in my work - in a book or a collage. but often, when i get it home and read it, there is a nice story. then i'm hooked and i can't bear to part with it. so i put it in the cigar box. i sift through the box occasionally and read them. and try to imagine their stories. and i wonder - how did their story end?
and even though i'll never know, i find myself hoping that Mr. Mysterious got his girl.
my daughter casually handed me this painting last night, a self portrait. "just a little something i did in art class", she said, "it's a little messed up". what???!!? "NO", i told her. it's perfect. i love it. i tried my best to squash her critical inner voice. i'm familiar with that one myself and it's not welcome here. i've propped it on the mantel for now until i can get a proper frame for it. all day long i've been sneaking peeks at it.
i really do love it. it captures her essence so perfectly. her expression - somewhat skeptical, questioning - so her. she questions everything.
i see it as so much more than a painting. it symbolizes her light. her fabulous, beautiful inner light. like a lot of us, she's had a hard time learning to shining that light of hers. i don't think she realizes it yet, but i do. her light is really starting to shine. and it's gonna be blinding. i just know it.
deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens
us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and
fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing
small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as
children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light
shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are
liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." The above speech for Nelson Mandela by Marianne Robertson
today marks our 22nd wedding anniversary. 22 years! i can hardly believe it, it went by in a blink. we live pretty simple lives, we always have. living simple has been a conscious decision that i really believe is the key to our happiness. we've kept to that philosophy and planned a nice quiet dinner out tonight. but i did take some time this morning to reflect on these past years and to remember why i really love my guy...
i love how he has always gone above and beyond to support our little family. when we had our first baby and i decided to ditch my job the day before i was to return to work, he not only supported my decision, he did what he had to do to make it work, sometimes working two jobs. it was hard, but he never wavered.
i'm happy that now we have gotten to the...hmmm...i'll say "more challenging" teen years, he only has to work one job. i love that he is such a great dad and that he is really there for them.
i love how he has always encouraged me to spread my wings and be the person he knows that i am.
i love how he has always said that i should do what i love to do, never mind about the money, because my happiness means so much more than that.
i love how he comes home after a long day of work and steps right up to the counter to help me finish making dinner. he does that all the time and i really appreciate it.
i love how he takes care of all the lawn chores and house maintenance and fixing things, like plumbing and broken appliances, and after all that he cleans the bathroom, because he knows that is my least favorite job.
i love how he plays scrabble with me every friday night, even though i usually win.
i love how he has made the time recently to take a walk with me almost every morning.
i love how he treats me so special, that i feel like a princess. all the time.
i love that he has been consistent in his love and firm in his commitment to me all these years. we've stuck together in the hard times and shared our happiness in the easy times. he's a really good guy and i'm so lucky to have him. i'm looking forward to the next 22 years and all that our future will bring...